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If it hadn’t been for the glum expressions on the mourners’ faces, the landscape would have been quite pleasant. The mourners were wearing dark clothes. One of them, hat in hand, obviously a man of God, stepped out to greet me. I was forming an apology for the way I was dressed when he stopped me. ‘You must be Mr. Driver. I’m Stewart Martin, the Peoples’ Attorney. If you will furnish two forms of identification to my assistant, you may be seated for the reading of the will. Ms. Whitney, will you record Mr. Driver’s information?’ I glanced below, noting how another wave was making the white foam break up. My mind was blank, but if I’d had a thought, I would have welcomed the interruption. Her voice was that soothing. Ms. Whitney was also quite lovely. ‘Mr. Driver, do you have two forms of identification?’ I produced my driver’s license, and watched her record the information. I saw that she was wearing a black outfit. The jacket had a single button, and the skirt had two slits that. "Laughing, he said. "I'm beginning to know how that bloody cat felt, I am now so curious."Giggling, I reached down into my ridiculously large WAGS handbag and pulled out the folder. I put it on the table and pushed it towards him."No, 'Hands, touching hands,' this time" I sang softly."He sang back. "Or touching me touching you?" Thoughtlessly, I muttered. "Oh I don't know."In the way that tipsy people do, we found that amazingly funny."Well not in here," I went on as I watched him open the folder."Be careful Matt, I know I flashed a lot in Starbucks, I don't want to do the same in here, I'll get such a reputation in this area."He discretely looked at the dozen or so print offs from the digital images.They were all of me in, what I suppose is the classic male fantasy of ladies underwear. All black, an almost diaphanous bra, a tiny thong, lacy top, hold up stockings and high-heeled stilettos. They were from a variety of angles each illustrating different aspects of the underwear and, of.
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